Message boards : Cafe LHC : Finally: The truth about NEZ
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Ariel
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Message 17480 - Posted: 21 Jul 2007, 5:08:20 UTC
Last modified: 21 Jul 2007, 6:03:41 UTC

After years of research the secret is at last revealed. Painstaking compilation of countless shreds of information has led me to the full truth about the mysterious BOINC user know as NEZ.

What has always been known:
1) Most of the hosts are conspicuously hidden.
2) NEZ crunches almost exclusively for SETI@home
3) At 208,604,493 credits, NEZ is the World's top BOINC participant.
4) Crunching speed continues to blaze at over 2 million credits per week.

Additional information I have determined be true:
1) NEZ is an extraterrestrial alien living here on Earth.
2) Due to a major navigation system failure, NEZ's spacecraft was forced to land in Africa when it ran out of fuel.
3) There is nothing on Earth suitable to refuel the craft.
4) NEZ is quite unfamiliar with the Milky Way Galaxy and is therefore completely lost in the Universe. It is not know which galaxy NEZ is from, but M31 is a likely candidate.
5) Finding that Humans would be of no help, NEZ is crunching SETI@home to locate a nearby civilization that is much more intelligent. What NEZ plans to do once this is achieved remains unclear.
6) Contrary to popular belief, NEZ does not own hundreds of computers. The exact number is 27. However, these machines have CPUs that are cooled to a few degrees Kelvin and run at clock speeds of several terahertz.
7) NEZ is easy to get along with and enjoys drinking beer. Be sure to bring a sixpack if you ever get to visit him/her; brand is not important.



Ariel: Certified "Too Cute for LHC" Cruncher!


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Message 17498 - Posted: 22 Jul 2007, 18:45:15 UTC
Last modified: 22 Jul 2007, 18:55:41 UTC

I heard that NEZ is homosexual. The problem is, no one knows what sex NEZ is to begin with. This adds great confusion to the issue and makes the rumor mostly pointless.

I've also heard that "NEZ" is an acronym. The problem is, no one knows what it's an acronym for... Any ideas?

Finally, it is said that NEZ keeps a bottle of vodka in the freezer and always pours about 15 ml into each beer to increase the alcohol content. However, I only heard this from one guy, and he does the same thing with his beer.

If anyone knows any other facts (or even rumors) about NEZ, please post.


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. . . . . . . - James Joyce, Finnegans Wake . . . .

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Message 17499 - Posted: 22 Jul 2007, 20:56:12 UTC

Some speculation here and a link to his one and only post over at SETI.
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Ariel
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Message 17592 - Posted: 29 Jul 2007, 7:49:51 UTC - in response to Message 17499.  
Last modified: 29 Jul 2007, 7:54:51 UTC

Some speculation here and a link to his one and only post over at SETI.
Hmph. Interesting post by NEZ. Yes, well, I've scored an interview appointment with him/her in August of 2014; it was arranged by the "wife" person refereed to in the post. But I'm already suspicious, because this so-called "wife" claims to speak 328 languages - over 2400 if you count the dialects of distinct languages... So.... are there that many languages on Earth? If not, where did she learn the other languages?

Further speculation to follow.




Ariel: Certified "Too Cute for LHC" Cruncher!


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Message 17658 - Posted: 1 Aug 2007, 2:53:46 UTC - in response to Message 17498.  
Last modified: 1 Aug 2007, 2:56:08 UTC

I heard that NEZ is homosexual.

NEZ is a woman? NEZ likes babes! (Pssst, NEZ is backwards for ZEN.)
me@rescam.org
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zombie67 [MM]
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Message 17804 - Posted: 9 Sep 2007, 8:44:08 UTC - in response to Message 17658.  

NEZ is a woman? NEZ likes babes! (Pssst, NEZ is backwards for ZEN.)

"Take this cross and garlic -- here's a Mezuza in case he's Jewish -- a page of the Koran if he's Muslim... and if he's a Zen Buddhist, you're on your own." -- Badger on killing vampires

Dublin, California
Team: SETI.USA

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Message boards : Cafe LHC : Finally: The truth about NEZ


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